I watched Until the Light Takes Us again. There’s still so much more I need to learn, but I’m struck by the differences and similarities between Fenriz and Varg. The former is awkward yet alluring, the latter smooth and polished. As much as I disagree with Varg’s world view, I understand it. In this sense he is like Kristoffer Rygg to me: people who are charismatic, intelligent and dangerous. But why? How is it that I can imagine myself standing side by side with one and not the other, when both stand squarely on treacherous ground?

Perhaps because there is humility in one and not the other. By humility I mean a fundamental receptivity: this is how, in fact, the world is, despite my desire to see it otherwise.

Varg speaks as one who wants to lead a movement. He sees the problems with life, and knows the solution. All you have to do is trust and obey.

Fenriz is unsteady yet firm. Unsteady in that he knows he does not know everything, firm in that he knows this to be true.

Varg thinks there is a system that can explain everything. Fenriz may as well, but his is one that is open, which means a certain degree of self-criticism and mistrust. This simply reflects a basic dichotomy: either I am the measure of reality or reality is of me. Of course, there is no way to settle the debate apart from the universal community of inquirers over the infinite long run. But short of that, I stand with the latter.

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